How not to be a dad

As with all family sitcoms, The War at Home is understood based on one’s own family background, so before I talk about The War at Home, I have to give a little background on my family history. My only relation to the Gold family is that I too have a non-religious Jewish father, and my brother and I are two years apart in age, as are Larry and Mike. However, all semblances between the Nagers and the Golds end there. In fact, our families are almost complete opposites. My parents are supportive and interested in the lives of their children; they are also much less selfish, and many times more mature. I do not have an older sister, and while neither my brother nor I could ever hope to win a popularity contest, we are not as socially inept as poor Larry is; however, I might be close to his nerdiness. I have always thought of my family as upper-middle class, while the Golds are lower-middle class. Both Vicky and Dave reminisce about their horrible parents (which they have become), but my parents have never hinted at anything but the opposite.

Also, I have only recently started viewing The War at Home partway through the 2nd season, and I am still trying to get a hold of the first season as my DVR fills up with re-runs.

Rated the worst show for family viewing by the Parents Television Council (immediately followed by Family Guy and American Dad), Fox’s The War at Home’s (Sunday nights at 6:30, with a re-run at 6, and followed by the Simpsons) content is not considered suitable for the Gold children to actually watch themselves. The show does, however, deal with topics that would be relevant to a family with 13 to 16 year old children, but in no way would my family have ever dealt with such topics in this way, nor should any families follow the guidelines set by Dave and Vicky, EVER.

Alternating week to week, The War At Home either depicts the children’s problems and how the parents solve (or agitate) the situation, or vice versa. While Dave (Michael Rapaport) is the main character of the show; all five characters receive major plot lines with the children usually splitting an episode in three parts, or the parents sharing an episode with a joint plotline or a solo plot in which the other adult becomes the main supporting character. The show does have a small supporting cast of one friend for each of the children, and a boyfriend for Hillary. Larry’s friend, Kenny, does become a main character for a few shows when he takes up residence with the Golds after he is kicked out of his home for being gay.

I like The War at Home’s use of asides (I’ve also seen it on The Office, but I do not watch enough current TV to know if this is a trend) in a Real World confessional form. While I think a family is a place where members should be honest with one another, in practice, this is never the truth, and The War At Home places a harsh light on this reality. While all of the characters usually appear genuine to one another, their asides always reveal their selfish intentions. For example, Vicky supportively offers to take Larry to the city for a meeting, she reveals in an aside that she doesn’t actually care about who she is taking where, but is actually more concerned with having a reason to skip work the next day.

The episode entitled “The White Shadow” (aired March 18th, 2007), while named for Michael Rapaport’s character, is an episode about the children’s problems including Larry trying to make it big as a music star, Mike trying to “buff it up,” by not masturbating, and Hillary’s struggles for love with her boyfriend. While Mike and Hillary’s plots are more universal in nature, Dave’s interactions with Larry’s attempts to become a music star are a great example of how not to be a father. While initially oblivious to the Larry’s interest towards making a cool, “lounge” type music (towards which the audience is also unaware), Dave is skeptical about Larry’s announcement of a possible record deal. After a seemingly successful talk with the record company, Dave only becomes interested with Larry when he feels that he can revive his own dreams of being the White Shadow, a proud “original” white rapper from his high school days. Larry uncomfortable endures his father’s ‘interest’ in his work, but finally makes the brave decision to send his demo tape without his father’s unsolicited ‘improvements.’ Rather then understand his son’s very mature decision to succeed or fail on his own, Dave even calls his son a, “back stabbing freak show.” Then when Dave finds out the record company is a fraud; he first takes a sarcastic tone towards his son to break his feelings. However, Dave finally shows his very well hidden depth and love as a father when he compassionately deflates when confronted with his son’s emotions and decides to sink $1,500 into the scam and not tell Larry that the record company is a fraud.

While Dave does eventually support his son, this still displays bad parenting because he is only delaying the disappointment when Larry’s CDs become a pile in the back of his closet. I would have handled this situation differently. A father should have been more supportive at the beginning, less selfish in turning his son’s success into his own, and this would have allowed him to be honest with his son when it was determined that the whole deal was a fraud.

The target audience for The War at Home is 18 to 49 year olds. The viewers of this age bracket, while some closer in age to the children, should relate more to the adults. The youngest of this age bracket 18-20 will think back and remember their high school days as they are only a few years older then the children. However, the majority of the audience can find themselves somewhere along Dave and Vicky’s time line of a couple that most likely married in college out of wedlock. While the children in The War at Home act as fairly ‘normal’ teenage children, the parents effectively demonstrate how NOT to raise a family.