Final 4/5 Cylons? (and motherf*$%@!# Windows)

So I finally caught up to the season finale.  My friends all hounded me until I got there because they were dying to talk about the latest four Cylons and what’s happening with the rest of the fleet.  For the final episode of the season I prepared a bag of buttery popcorn, cracked open an ice cold Sam Adams, plopped down in front of the desktop PC, and prepared to be blown away…by choppy, laggy, out of sync video.  Apparently Windows Vista and iTunes don’t get along.  I closed every damn program on the computer and even tried rebooting in safe mode but nothing allowed me to watch Battlestar on my PC.  By now I was ready to fly across the country and kick you know you in the gonads but my roommate came up with the ultimate solution:

“Just watch in on your laptop dude.”

Oh bliss! Bliss and heaven! Oh, it was gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. It was like a bird of rarest-spun heaven metal or like silvery wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now. As I slooshied, I knew such lovely pictures! And then I watched Battlestar.

 *ARGGH, THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD*

So four of the five have finally been revealed:  Chief Tyrol, Col. Tigh, Samuel Anders, and Tory Foster.  Half of me says that I should be surprised, but the other half of me says DUH!  Let’s look at Tyrol first.  A dozen episodes ago he is freaking out and having nightmares about being a Cylon.  The priest he visits basically say that the gods don’t care about him or the humans anymore and that the humans are SOL.  Coincidentally the priest turns out to be a Cylon himself so I understand the bias.  Regardless, by suggesting the chief is a Cylon earleir in the series then attributing it to stress and dreams we, the audience, are fooled into a false sense of security.  Chief can’t be a Cylon because the writers are being so obvious about him possibly being a Cylon.  

A modern audience expects a twist out of left field like the President…or her aide! [scary music].  Okay, I’ll admit that Tory surprised me but not because I never thought of her as a Cylon but rather because I never though about her.  Unlike Billy from seasons past, Tory is never really focused on.  She says stuff but it never really mattered to me.  If she’s a Cylon it’s like, oh wait, who’s she?  annoying.

Col. Tigh’s Cylon-ness was almost too easy.  How surprised would we be if the most anti-toaster man in the fleet was actually a toaster?  Well, actually I was surprised, but not by his designation as a Cylon.  In the final episode I had thought he was just hearing things because he was drunk.  Then when he declared that the infiltration device was in the ship I expected the Cylon fleet to jump in and blow everything to hell.  But instead of it being a tracking device it was a trigger.  That surprised me.

Anders as a Cylon was the only one I had never considered (except Tory).  His devotion to Starbuck and his fraility (relatively speaking, the Viper he fell off wasn’t that high) really lulled me into feeling he was immune to toasting.  I guess I could believe the devotion if I really though about it because Caprica 6 is quite in love with Dr. Baltar and Athena/Boomer was/are in love with the chief.  On a side note, if Heilo was with Boomer but is now with Athena, does that make the office parties weird?

 Anyway, what I’ve been thinking about all this time is that we don’t actually know who the Cylons are.  I know that they were “revealed” but seriously, watch the episode again.  Who says that they are Cylons?  They do.  Tyrol, Tigh, Anders, and Tory.  They assume that because they all came to this room together they are toasters.  But after that’s revealed via Deus Ex Machina (God from the machine, a tactic in Greek theatre in which the truth is revealed through a revelation from the Gods) they go their separate ways to do their various jobs on the ship.  When Boomer was triggered by the Cylons she shot Admiral Adama.  Why don’t the new four blow something up?  They just go back to what they were doing, just a little shakier.  But still, the only suggestion that they are Cylons is the music that only they hear and their collective meeting.  And again, they only assume that they are Cylons.  There is no definitive proof that they are four of the five.  If anything, the proof says otherwise.  None of them have super strength, or the ability to project, or anything really Cylon.  But maybe that’s the point.  Maybe we all have those abilities but we just think we don’t.  Maybe every human is able to project.  But regardless, we don’t really know who the Cylons are.

What’s up with Battlestar?

Let me preface the following blog by saying that I’m about four episodes behind on the progression of the show. I switched to windows vista recently and haven’t been able to view any of the latest episodes because of a very convenient conflict between iTunes and Vista. So what I have to say applies to Dirty Hands and the previous episodes.

I’ll admit that I’m something of a nerd. I enjoy a good science fiction flick, I play computer games on a regular basis, and I’m terrible at sports. But my bias towards the geeky side of life has very little impact on my recognizing Battlestar Galactica as one of the greatest shows on television. Simply put it’s well-written, has spectacular special effects, is well acted, and is able to pull the viewer into the world in which it exists. Critics speak very highly of the show and as far as I can tell, one million other nerds like me sit down every Sunday evening and play the Frak drinking game (every Frak earns a shot). Okay, maybe I’m the only one playing Battlestar drinking games but regardless something is pulling in viewers. I’d make the argument that it’s the way the writers slowly unravel an epic story over the course of a season.

In seasons 1 and 2 we were always kept on the edge of our seats, wondering what they’re going to hit us with next and with a few exceptions, each subsequent episode served to advance the narrative. Battlestar Galactica is in the serial format meaning that the story is revealed continuously from episode to episode. One could imagine a serial as a film split into small one hour pieces. Conversely, there are series format television shows in which each episode exists within the realm of the story but does not necessarily advance the narrative but that’s a different blog for a different day.

Fast forward to season three. We start off great. The story focuses on the humans short stint on New Caprica and the occupation by the Cylons. Humanity resorts to guerrilla tactics and suicide bombings to combat the far more powerful Cylons. Hmm, a familiar theme methinks. Again, another blog for another time. The New Caprican conflict extends to episode four at which point the humans seek out revenge against those who collaborated with the Cylons. Battlestar’s linear narrative goes into suspended animation after this episode. There is no doubt that episodes four to fifteen exist within the world of Battlestar but have little to do with the main story-line which is the conflict between the humans and the Cylons (save five and six which mention it).

Episode five, “Torn”, is the Cylons investigation of a deadly virus to which the humans are immune. Episode six “A Measure of Salvation” questions the use of biological weapons to end the war in favor of the humans. In seven, “Hero”, Adama reunites with a pilot he sent on a suicide mission and seems to offer an explanation of the conflict. “Unfinished Business”, episode eight, is basically a recap of what happened on New Caprica and the humans response to it. Episode nine, “The Woman King” is more of a CSI episode than Battlestar. Another deadly virus breaks out amongst Sagitarrons, people with a fear of medicine and a strong belief in mysticism. Fourteen I haven’t seen so I’ll skip it and fifteen “Dirty Hands”, is Chief Tyrol’s rebirth as a union leader.

Each of the episodes helps to reveal a bit about the character’s past lives before the war but to be frank, they are way out of place. Battlestar combines many genres,(action, sci-fi, drama) but when there hasn’t been an explosion in six episodes one starts to worry that the writers are out of material. Episodes four through fifteen seemed more like Star Trek: TNG. A character drama series set in space. Where are the dog fights of season one and two? Where is the bitchy CAG? What happened to our fearless Admiral Adama? All that has been put on pause so that we can see Tyrol go on strike and watch the sexual tension between Lee and Kara. Damn it Lee! Either leave Dee or don’t. Quite being so awkward about it!

As a counterpoint, perhaps the aforementioned complaints are exactly what the writers wanted. Maybe season three was only supposed to be a revelation of the inner mind of each character. Maybe it was setup so that we, the audience, want the linear narrative to return. I myself am sick about peering into the daily work of these characters and maybe the writers want me to be sick of it. Perhaps we are to feel like the characters we’re watching: burned out. I’ll suspend judgment until I catch up.

- Ken